Over the years, I have documented many things that I have learnt and created systems and procedures so that I am faster at doing said things. I have shared some of them in my blog, and plan to continue doing that, eventually categorizing them into books and sharing with the world.
Here I would like to share some of the rules that I live by. This is a living list and entries are modified as needed.
My 10 Rules to live by (caution: there may be more than 10 rules): 1. Don’t let things external to you affect you: never be sad/angry with what someone else does/says, they have no power over you. It is you who dictates how you feel 2. Never make the same mistake twice: keep track of the mistakes you make – mistakes in life/career/financial/emotional. Review these mistakes periodically and never repeat them 3. Look forward: don’t reminisce on who you were, think about who you want to become 4. Be proactive: be prepared 5. Do what you love and money will follow 6. If a tree falls in the woods, did it make a sound: make sure you are being heard, if not, then talk to someone else or do things differently; think outside the box 7. Breathe deeply and fully; stay centered, meditate with breathing at all times, be present with what you do and who you talk to 8. Beware of groundless fear: do not worry for things that aren’t here yet, they may never come, and if they come, deal with it then, you have dealt with far worse before and you emerged 9. Charity of your time: not all charity is done with money, be generous with your time for meaningful activities, those that enable others 10. No sugar on weekdays: this is a specific rule, however, the general concept is that a healthy body is a healthy and productive mind. Exercise daily and eat healthy, relax during down-time 11. Invest in self and others: pay for activities that improve your skills, and do the same for others 12. Do what you can with what you got: do not make excuses, you have enough to do what you need to 13. Apply 80/20 thinking: be cautious of diminishing returns 15. Minimize the variables: the simple solution is elegant, simple works 16. Do what others want, not what you want for them
Key takeaways: 80% is waste, 80% of decisions are idiotic; people/organizations are reluctant to change/stop the 80% waste; 80% of language is from 20% of words (useful to language learning hobbyists like myself).
Happiness: Money not spent today will compound, happiness not spent today is lost; Do fun things that make yourself happy now; create a list of Happiness islands/unhappiness islands: list top 10 in each category and eliminate the rest.
Time management vs 80/20: Not the same thing: Time management asks you to do more in less time; 80/20 says don’t do the things you don’t want to. To gain more time for doing the things you enjoy, Eliminate low value activities – just say NO. Low value activities are: things others want you to do, things you don’t enjoy doing, and things no one is interested in. Eliminate unreliable/low quality collaborators.
Work: Identify yourself as:
Like to work
Self-employed
Manage others
High need of achievement
organization people
professors
Entrepreneurs/founders
Low need of achievement
volunteer
free-lancer
secretary/manager
Types of work-people
High achievement rules: Specialize in a niche, enjoy the niche, knowledge is power, identify your core customers, identify 80/20, learn from the best, become self-employed early on, employ net-value creators, use outside contractors except for your core skills, exploit capital leverage. *Outsource everything but your core competencies. Arbitrage rule: in an organization, 80% of business comes from 20% of employees, these employees are not paid as such, if you want to get paid more, be in business for yourself, and if you can, hire like minded people. Move. Find excuse to work for the best, they see things differently, spend time differently. Self employ to capture all the value you create. If your current career/employer allows you to all of this, keeping you happy, continue doing that.
Negotiations: Have many negotiation points, keep your core points hidden in the other unimportant points; give away the dummy points, people like to win points; use time: last minute demands are more likely to be met, if more time is given, the negotiation is not favorable.
Money: Easy to get, easy to make more, but, marginal utility of money decreases sharply; Money obeys 80/20; Investing creates wealth due to compounding returns.
As a precursor to the Pace and Lead technique taught to sales professional, I would like to share my personal experience on this subject. The following is an excerpt from my upcoming book.
“If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” You have something worth sharing, worth being listened to, and worth acting upon. The listener will most certainly benefit from what you have to say. That is the simple objective of learning the technique.
Before you can Lead, you need to Pace, and before you can Pace, you need to know about your listener. The assessment of the listener’s personality allows you to effectively frame your arguments so that your valuable message is well received. I learnt this early on in my sales career and applied it with great success. It was my first sales training course, and the instructor was a charismatic guy. I knew my own personality type as being “introverted,” and could classify people as either like me or unlike me – the “extroverts.” This was the typical two-class model my grandma even knew of. However, this was not what the extroverted instructor was preaching.
I was introduced to the social behavior classification model, also called personality types, based on the Merrill-Reid styles[1]. There are several other social behavior classifications with the similar idea, and after my sales training, I explored other classifications, however, I found the Merrill-Reid styles intuitive and practical, therefore, that’s the classification I will discuss. The charismatic sales training instructor began by explaining the four categories – Driver, Expressive, Amiable, and Analytical. Without going any further, he asked us to fill a self-assessment questionnaire first, and I encourage you to do the same. After you have done the self-assessment, continue reading.
Merrill-Reid Personality Self Assessment
In each 4-word block below, rate the words from most like you to least like you by assigning points as follows:
4 points to the word that is most like you
3 points to the work that is like you
2 points to the word that is somewhat like you
1 point to the word that is least like you
a) ____ daring b) ____ passionate c) ____ careful d) ____ agreeable
a) ____ competitive b) ____ social c) ____ accurate d) ____ calm-mannered
a) ____ vocal b) ____ appealing c) ____ sensible d) ____ warm-hearted
a) ____ dynamic b) ____ lively c) ____ demanding d) ____ good-natured
a) ____ straightforward b) ____ charming c) ____ controlled emotions f) ____ good-hearted
a) ____ commanding b) ____ gracious c) ____ reserved d) ____ laid-back
a) ____ resourceful b) ____ conversational c) ____ disciplined d) ____ considerate
a) ____ firm b) ____ attractive c) ____ diplomatic d) ____ understanding
a) ____ adventurous b) ____ friendly c) ____ mindful d ____ pleasant
a) ____ unsettled b) ____ demonstrative c) ____ politically correct d) ____ kind
Totals a) ____ b) ____ c) ____ d) ____
(Answer key at the end of the post)
Important Caveats
As you read the next section, you may self-identify as one or more of the personalities. The reality is that this is a spectrum, and people are found somewhere in between. People also behave in a certain manner based on their job title. The job examples I use for the different personalities are illustrative, as there are all kinds of personalities doing all kinds of jobs.
It is common to find partners with opposite personality types. You can ask your partner to fill the questionnaire and find out. Furthermore, if you are single and ready to mingle, then look for your opposite personality type to maximize the success of your relationship.
Analytical
Analytical people are the engineers and accountants of our world; the nerds – I can say that as I am one of them. The Analytical person decorates his offices with charts and figures, likely wear eyeglasses, and doesn’t dress well. When spoken to, he seems cold, emotionless, and reclusive. He is polite and speaks little. He thinks systematically, is detail oriented, and makes decisions based on facts. He focuses on task completion and is persistent in this pursuit. His weakness is being quiet, emotionally disconnected, and, frankly speaking, boring. Decision making takes time as they quietly analyze all available data. Not being a risk-taker, they value accuracy and avoid criticism.
Identifying the Analytical: they will speak slowly, speak little, and not express emotions.
When communicating with an Analytical, keep emotions out of the discussion and focus on solving the problem and get to the point systematically. Talk slowly, provide logical arguments based on facts, and be ready to answer the “how” questions. Don’t rush to the conclusion and allow time for evaluation of each step.
Driver
The Driver is your typical management type; the CEOs and managers of our world – people you tent to avoid as they seem controlling. The Driver demands a corner office, dresses sharp, takes power seats, and decorates his workspace with trophies and posters of expensive things. When spoken to, he seems impatient and loud. He is objective focused and believes that the ends justify the means. He talks fast, multi-tasks, takes risks, and demands action. He is direct, gets the job done, and very persuasive. Weaknesses include being stubborn, impatient, insensitive, and easily agitated. The Driver enjoys power and does not shy away from using it.
Identifying the Driver: they will speak fast, speak little, and not express emotions.
When communicating with a Driver, don’t waste time and get straight to the point. Be prepared to answer the “what” question – what’s being done, what’s the plan, etc. Don’t talk about emotions and feelings. Keep the encounter brief, concise, and organized. End with options and summarize the key takeaways.
Expressive
The Expressive is your typical storyteller; the politicians and salespeople of our world – likable, talkative, and animated. The expressive person’s work areas are messy and scattered, however, she know exactly where everything is. She like to dress colorful and flashy. When spoken to, She seem talkative and, as the name implies, quite expressive. She is fantastic with words, uses hand gestures and facial expressions, and enjoys making friends and connecting people. Her understanding of emotions and people’s motives helps her be diplomatic when confronted. She seeks adventure and loves being a member of any, and every, society. Her weaknesses involve being unorganized, impatient, reactive, emotional, and has a fear of missing out (FOMO). She is quite competitive, tends to exaggerate things, dreams big – but does not follow through, and can be seen by others as egotistical. She readily exchanges life experiences and personal information with others, for better or worse.
Identifying the Expressive: they will speak fast, speak a lot, and express lots of emotions.
When communicating with an Expressive, focus on the emotions and building rapport. Express your solution with example stories and demonstrate how it will make them look good. Be animated, talk fast, and keep things casual. Be prepared to answer many “who” questions – who said what, who is current, who’s fault, etc. Don’t present too much technical details and keep the conversation entertaining.
Amiable
Amiable folks are team players; the typical “nice guy” across the cubicle. The Amiable gets along with anyone and everyone, and is a solid team player. Her office is decorated with pictures of family, friends, and landscapes, and she love talking about them. She is pleasant to look at and dress the same. Her dependability, devotion, consistency, and ability to be a good listener, makes her a great long-term friend. As a worker, she is hard-working, trustful, loyal, avoids confrontation, and has a stabilizing effect on the team. On the flip side, she is slow to take decisive action, too compliant, won’t argue even if she is right, and dislike change.
Identifying the Amiable: they will speak slow, speak a lot, and express lots of emotions.
When communicating with an Amiable, speak slowly but systematically, don’t introduce abrupt change, be agreeable and relaxed, and use the “we” word often. Be ready to answer many “why” questions. Be willing to get side-tracked during the conversation. Most importantly, be a good listener.
Conclusion
The charismatic instructor ended the lesson by reminding us that the goal of learning this skill is to be able to deliver your message effectively – it is not about manipulation. “If a tree falls and no one is around to hear it, did it make a sound?”
Summary of the Merrill-Reid Personality Types
Answer key to the Merrill-Reid personality self assessment
a) Driver b) Expressive c) Analytical d) Amiable
[1] Study based on the research of Merrill & Roger, “Personal Styles and Effective Performance – 1981” & Bolton&Bolton’s “Social Style and Management – 1984”
Our brain is silly sometimes: it tries to make us lazy. During workouts, we are only exerting about 40%, at most. One quick hack is to half-count your reps. For example: if you are used to doing 10 pull ups, count your pull ups such that two reps equal one. You will be pleasantly surprised to still hit your 10 reps, when you actually have done 20.
Update July 2022: when starting this half count system, at first your brain will know what’s going on. If you are aiming for 20 pull ups and you half count, your brain knows you are attempting 20 and tell you to stop at 15, for example. If you keep pushing and half counting, at some point your brain stops fighting you. It thinks 20 equals 10. I am at a point now where all my workouts are half counted and my brain does not mind – that’s wiered to say. I guess the next step may be to count three for one.
1. Become genuinely interested in people: when active listening, pay attention to the details and be genuinely interested.
2. Smile: always be smiling; passively and when conversing with others.
3. Remember people’s names: to prove that you are genuinely interested, remember people’s names. Work out a system: for example, ask for the person’s hobby and associate that to their name.
4. Be a good listener: people remember how you make them feel, and everyone likes being heard, so encourage others to talk about themselves. In doing so, try to see the other person’s point of view.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interest: don’t discuss things they wouldn’t care about, instead, share relevant stories, ideas, and topics.
6. Make the person feel important: if you do all of the above right, this will come naturally. Remember to do it sincerely.
“It’s unwise to pay too much, but it’s worse to pay too little. When you pay too much, you lose a little money – that’s all. When you pay too little, you sometimes lose everything, because the thing you bought was incapable of doing the thing it was bought to do. The common law of business balance prohibits paying a little and getting a lot – it can’t be done. If you deal with the lowest bidder, it is well to add something for the risk you run, and if you do that you will have enough to pay for something better.”
-John Ruskin
I read this on a poster in a washroom at a restaurant in Montreal. I think it was meant as a – not very subtle – way to get the customers to tip more – and it worked. I love this quote not just because I am a sales professional, but also because I am a consumer. My rule: never buy cheapest. Buying second or third cheapest is generally a good strategy. Look for value from the supplier beyond the dollars. Bargain not just on cost, but also on value add-ons. These may be easier for the supplier to negotiate on, Perform a cost value analysis to look at the total cost of ownership. Consider the consumables cost, repair cost, support, and product phase out.
Of course this detailed analysis is for medium or large purchases. Do not perform a cost-value analysis on a chocolate chip icecream!
Going from weight lifting at the gym to building a garage gym with only a squat rack, and now compressing the entire gym to just what you see in the picture above, of course with the door open; it’s been quite a journey of self learning. I now realize that working out requires very little. The most important requirement is motivation. “You do what you can with what you got.” All you need is a pull-up bar. The Olympic rings a fun way to mix up your workout to make it fun and challenge yourself.
If I could go back in time and advice my young self, I would tell me to not go to a gym and workout using Olympic rings. Gymnasts use rings and these guys are some the fittest people around.
I would also tell my self to use a logbook. A simple logbook with paper and pen. Add an entry everyday. It can be as detailed or as simple as you like. This too will help keep the motivation levels high.
Olympic rings workouts: your can watch how to Videos add much as you want, but I started with this website. The guy has an interesting story and does a great job. Bodyweightmuscle.com
Another simple rule I have is “no sugar on weekdays.” I can endulge myself on the weekends, or on special occasions – within reasonable sugar limits. But this firm rule has served me well so far.
A recent workout hack has also been quite fruitful in keeping me motivated: half-counting the reps allows pushing through the psychological barriers by tricking the brain. It’s simple to do, and I have a separate post explaining it, Here.
A full range of motion is superior to higher rep count – prioritize building a good form with maximum range of motion as this will compound over time in a positive way. Rest half a second at the max range to really feel the burn and maximize muscle growth.
Pull up bar: I bought a cheap one form local store, paid ~$20. Nothing fancy, but sturdy which I can screw to the door frame. You can patch the screw holes with some putty later.
I also use a foam roller for stretching and ironing out any knots.
And finally, for cardio, I use a regular jump rope. Nothing fancy.
Good luck on your personal fitness. It does not need to be fancy. Just stay motivated!
What gets measured, gets managed. What gets managed, gets accomplished.
The first sentence comes from someone famous – I think Peter Drucker. The second sentence is what I came up with.
KPI or key performance indicators, are metrics that organizations use to keep their employees on their toes. It also creates, supposedly healthy, competition among coworkers. KPI is a necessary evil. Companies have the growth mindset and KPI is easy to monitor and report to shareholder, who in turn decide to continue buying shares or not.
Employees should learn to live with KPI’s. Stay on top of them and push back of they start to consume your creativity.
The drawback to KPI is that you start to lose sight of the forest for the trees. You are not sharpening the saw. You can not be as creative as you once were.
Like all other things, there is a delicate balance here and companies can’t overlook this fact. Big data and the AI tend mean KPI’s are not going away. We evolve with this and find a balance.
“Let your future determine your present, not your past determine your future.” -Chip Wilson
Too often we set goals based on our past. This is a form of “reactive thinking.” Instead, “proactive thinking” allows us to untether from the past, look ahead and make decisions in the present. Enjoy life in the present.
I love this quote as it is simple to understand, yet, it has many layers. Thank you Mr. Wilson.
It takes 4 seconds for someone to decide if they like you or they hate you 90% of communication is tonality of your voice and body language The unconscious mind is influenced by tonality and body language; Conscious mind is influenced by words Whispering is a powerful luring technique NLP (neural linguistic program) is the science of persuasion language Olfactory anchoring can be used to condition internal rewards Tonality: phrase as question; intrigue: created using a whisper (creates scarcity bias, information scarcity); use ‘the reasonable man tone’ Body Language: watch several videos on effective use of body-language to influence your audience; do not invade personal space; eye contact 72% of time Match-Pace-Pace-Lead Marketing’s job: research the market; cost effective outreach; hook/call to action prospects into sales funnel; work with sales online/offline marketing Buyers: they must have a pain point; buyer in power: have shopping time; fire the tire-kickers early “May I ask you a few questions so I have a clear picture of what you need?” Speech Script: not front loaded (KISS – keep it stupid simple); frame the script; solutions not features; “makes sense?”; casual script; flow Money = stored energy, the buyer wants to spend least energy, path of low resistance Do NOT ask: “did you get my email/review my information?”, this is an easy NO; instead say “I sent you info..” Anchor high settle low
The tools and techniques discussed in this book allow you to reach your audience. You have a message worth delivering, it is of interest to your audience. You have clear, good intentions. So why not learn how to effectively convey your message so it gets heard.
